In my last real-life post, Second Chances, I wrote about owning the past. I know what I did wrong. I said it straight, and I ended with: let’s see what happens.
Saying it was the first step. Now comes the part that has no applause. Showing it.
Admitting a mistake is one day. Loyalty is every day after.
An apology is words. Good words, necessary words, but still words. The other person heard words before. Maybe from you. That is exactly why words alone are not enough. Trust does not come back because you finally said the right sentence. It comes back slowly, when what you do matches what you said, again and again, on normal days when nobody is checking.
Loyalty is not a feeling
People talk about loyalty like it is something you feel. I think it is something you do.
Loyalty is answering the phone when it is not convenient. It is the same story when she is in the room and when she is not. It is protecting someone’s name when others talk. It is not keeping one foot out the door just in case. It is choosing the same person on the boring Tuesday, not only on the exciting Saturday.
Nobody claps for that. And that is fine. Loyalty that needs applause is not loyalty. It is performance.
Don’t expect forgiveness on your schedule
This is the hard part, and I want to be honest about it.
When you are working to be better, you want the other person to see it. Fast. You want credit. You think, I am doing everything right, why is there still doubt?
But trust is not a deal you close. You don’t do three good things and get a signed contract. The other person remembers how it felt before. They have the right to take their time. Like I wrote in Rebuilding Trust Through Everyday Actions, you cannot put someone else’s trust on your calendar.
If you get angry because forgiveness is slow, you show you were only acting good to get something back. Then all the good days don’t count for much.
So you keep going. Not to prove a point. Because this is who you decided to be.
Loyalty goes both ways
I also believe what I wrote in Respect Is Earned Through Actions: respect has to be mutual. Loyalty is the same. It is not begging, and it is not losing yourself. It is two people showing up for each other, each one carrying their own part.
My part is simple to say and not simple to do. Keep my word. Tell the truth, even when it is uncomfortable. Be the same man when things are easy and when things are hard. Don’t repeat the old mistakes, not even small versions of them.
I don’t know how the story ends. I said that before, and it is still true. But I know how I want to walk every day of it.
Slowly. Honestly. Loyal.
Vot tak.
— Denis Mikhlin
#DenisMikhlin #Loyalty #Trust #SecondChances #RealLife
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